Walk Through The Fire
by Daphinora
Summary: When Bella goes to Volterra to save Edward she loses both Edward and Alice and goes back home where her and Jasper comfort each other in their losses. Jasper/Bella and more. Rated for language! Nothing explicit. The Vulturi should definitely make an appearance in here- numerous times!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

I could see him now, I could see Edward, and I tried to make my legs move, I really did, but they wouldn't go, wouldn't budge. Instead I was held in place by an iron arm around my waist.

Edward moved towards the line of sunlight surrounding his spot by the clock tower. Somewhere near me I heard a little girl giggling, but all I could focus on was Edward.

He took another step forward and I couldn't hear anything anymore over the loud banging of my heart in my chest.

"EDWARD! NO!" I felt myself scream. I think I saw him smile a little, and then he took another step towards that murderous sunlight.

"Let go of me! Let me save him! Let go! EDWARD! Let go! EDWARD! LET GO!"

I struggled with my captor as I watched Edward walk towards me in horror. His eyes were still closed, and there was no way he could hear me over the loudness of the festival around us.

My captor never let me go, but whispered to me, "Bella, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. We have to go now you're in-"

Alice stopped speaking and held me tighter in her embrace, and somewhere in the back of my mind knew that she was having a vision.

"Go. Get out of here, Bella! Run! They'll kill you if you don't!"

"Let them! I don't care! EDWARD! Let go, Alice!"

"Fine. They'll kill me _and_ Edward if you don't leave now. If they find out about you they will destroy us both."

What?

What?

Wait.

What?

No.

"Tell Jasper I love him, and to keep you company."

Alice released me and pushed me towards the car as she ran to Edward's side, trying to communicate with him through her mind. He shook his head once and continued to move forward. I watched as he moved forward again and she pulled him backwards.

Then he leapt away from her into the sunlight.

All Hell broke loose.

People were screaming and running around as Edward shimmered brightly like a diamond in the sun. Then two hooded figures moved to Alice and Edward, and one promptly tore off Edward's head for all to see.

Nobody moved for about a heartbeat. The other figure turned to Alice and motioned to the dark alleyway. I could tell she was sobbing, but she nodded and walked down the alley anyway.

Numb, I stared as the first guard- for that is what these hooded figures must be, part of the Volturi guard- picked up the two pieces of Edward and followed the other guard and Alice.

I was left alone in the middle of the square as the humans around me ran shrieking into their houses.

I turned and walked hollowly back towards the yellow Porsche, where Alice had left it earlier after hurling me out of the car to save her brother.

To save her brother, the one that was now dead.

Because of me.

I was too slow to help him, I was too human to reach him in time. I was too stupid and graceless and ugly to make it to him.

I reached the Porsche and slid in, noticing that the keys were still in the ignition.

I didn't remember the drive to the airport, or the walk into the airport, but I remember handing the clerk lady my ticket. My ticket. I hadn't noticed before that Alice had only gotten one ticked for the return home.

I got on my plane and pulled out Alice's cell phone, another thing she had given me before she threw me out of the car at the square. I went through the contacts until I found one that I could associate with a certain person of her family. All the names of her contacts were nicknames, and I kind of assumed that 'Jazbear' was Jasper.

I pressed call.

"Alice?" he picked up on the first ring.

"No." I replied, and felt my soul tear even more when I heard his devastating draw of breath.

"Bella. Is she okay? Where is she? Where is Edw-"

I cut him off before he could speak the dreaded name, the one name I feared I would start screaming if I heard right now.

"Jasper. Don't know. With Volturi. Dead."

He took another steadying breath.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. Okay. We'll sort this out later. Where are you?"

"A plane." Trust Jasper to apologize for my loss when his own mate, his own wife, is with the dreaded royal family of the vampires, possibly dead.

"To?"

"Seattle."

"We'll be there." He hung up at the same time as a flight attendant came to tell me to turn off my electronic device.

_It isn't mine._

I sat in my seat for the rest of the flight, staring at the back of the seat in front of me.

When they announced it was time to unfasten our seat belts and get off the plane I stood up, threw my shoulders back, and stumbled off of the plane to see the family that will hate me forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**Bella's POV**

The first person I saw was, naturally, Emmett. He was a good head taller than anyone at the airport was, anyway. I stared at his smiling face and started walking towards him, only to be pulled into the hard arms of Esme.

"Oh, thank God, Bella, we thought we'd lost you. Where is Alice? Edw-"

"Esme."

"Yes, dear?"

"He's dead." I said flatly. I was barely awake, my soul allowing me a minute glimpse of this family, the one family that I had striven so hard to fit in with. This family that will ultimately hate me for losing two of their most loved family members, two of their gifted ones.

I didn't feel the tears running down my cheeks, but I assumed they were there when I felt cool fingers brushing them away. I looked up into the blurry eyes of Jasper.

I let out an anguished cry as despair stabbed my heart. I started to sob uncontrollably with Jasper's arms around me, his soft, broken voice whispering to me.

"You have to let it all out, Bella. Just cry. Scream. Throw a tantrum. Let it all out, Bella. There you go. Good girl. Keep those pretty tears coming."

This only made me cry harder. I cried for Jasper and me both, for I knew he couldn't cry. His tears would never fall, no matter how hard he tried.

I didn't notice I was in a car until I felt it swerve around a corner underneath me.

I wailed and sobbed and cried my eyes out for Jasper.

He kept sending me waves of despair, anguish, heartbreak, anything to make me cry harder.

I tried to speak through my sobs.

"Why? Why did… sob… she not… sob… come with… sob… me? We… sob… could have… sob… made it! WE COULD HAVE MADE IT!"

"I don't know, Bella. I don't know." Jasper sounded frustrated by this fact, and I assumed that vampires didn't like not knowing things.

"She told me… sob… to tell you that… sob… she loves you."

I wasn't going to tell him the other part, to take of me, because I knew what would happen we got to Forks.

Jasper dry sobbed into my hair as we held onto each other. I was trying to comfort him as much as myself because I knew that we had both lost someone, someone who was important to our very existences.

I let myself go, felt myself retract into myself. I knew that they would all leave me again once we got back to Forks. I knew that I'd be all alone, and knowing that Ed-_he_ was gone for good, I would never be whole again.

Jasper's POV

It happened so fast. One second Bella was weeping her heart and soul out, sending out waves of longing and rejection and sadness, and the next second she wasn't moving, wasn't sending out any feelings at all.

"Bella?"

No response.

"Bella, please, can you hear me?"

Still no response.

"Jasper? What's wrong with her?" asks a worried Carlisle from the front seat. This alarms Esme who turns around to see Bella's face.

"Bella? Bella? Bella!" She starts to shake Bella, trying to get some sort of reaction out of her. It was useless- she wasn't feeling anything.

"She can't feel anything. It's like she locked herself inside her mind- she has no emotions. She feels nothing. Esme…" I trailed off as my thoughts took over.

Was this how she responded to Edward leaving her the first time? Did she fall into herself, trap herself so that she couldn't feel the pain of Edward's loss? What if she stayed like this forever?

For some reason this last thought chilled my venom.

What if she never woke up?

"…we need to see Charlie." I finished my sentence to Esme.

"Oh. Of course, dear, but is she alright?" Esme was obviously still worried about Bella.

Bella was such a beautiful name. I'd always thought so, but I couldn't figure out why I was so worried about Edward's ex lover. I had always had a feeling, of sorts, for her, but now I felt protective, possessive. I didn't let myself think about Alice, because I knew that right now I needed to take care of Bella, and if I thought of Alice I would lose control and destroy everything near me- including Bella. She needed me; she needed my help.

I tried to send her wanting feelings, feelings of belonging and fitting in. When that didn't work I sent her feelings of hatred, anger, and loathing. That still didn't work, so I tried to send her sadness, despair, anguish, and desolation. Still nothing.

I was distracted from my attempts at getting Bella to react by the stilling of the car and the opening of the car door by my side. I grabbed Bella into my arms and slid out of the car onto the pavement in a single movement. Charlie came out of the house, eyes ablaze, shouting at me and Carlisle about how stupid and selfish we are, his feeling ranging from anger and worry to thankfulness and joy. He got a look at the blank eyes of his daughter and all of his emotions turned to one: resentment.

He knew, then?

"Charlie." I interrupted his yelling and he silenced at once.

"What?" he gritted out.

"What's wrong with her?"

I saw his eyes glaze over with tears, his emotions suddenly getting frantic. He was feeling reluctant to tell us, so I might have nudged him towards obedience and honesty.

"This has happened before, hasn't it, Charlie?" I asked him softly.

He immediately hardened. "It's none of your business."

"You're right, it isn't. My brother just died and the woman I love just ran off after him. Now I'm here with Bella instead of chasing her or avenging Edward's death. So I'd like to know what is wrong with her."

Charlie was flabbergasted.

"Dead? Did you say dead?" He asked. Then he muttered, "serves him right, leaving her like that in the forest all alone for the wolves to get her. Asshole. But I guess I should respect the dead, eh? Nah, he was a jerk. No respect for him there. I wonder how he-" his ramblings were cut off by Esme's sobbing. He looked up at her, shocked, and started to speak again.

"Yes," he said slowly, "this has happened before. After your brother left her in the woods behind the house, she disappeared."

"Disappeared?" asked Carlisle.

"Disappeared. As in, her body was there, but her mind wasn't. She moved, did her chores and her daily routine, but she wasn't there, not really."

"Why?" Carlisle again. Esme was sobbing even harder and I was a statue, holding Bella's soft, limp body in my arms.

"She snapped. The doctors say that it was her way of coping with the loss, of coping with the pain. They say that since it was too much for her mind to bare, she just quit. She stopped using her head."

Esme tried to speak. "What do you mean? How is that even possible?"

"She's dead. On the inside, she's dead."

Review if you like it! Review if you don't! Review even if you don't give a damn! Just review!

BTW I own none of the characters, just the plot. :D

~Daphinora


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

**Bella's POV**

Nobody wanted me here. When would they kill me? I prayed that it would be fast, but then again, since I can't feel my body I'm sure it wouldn't have mattered.

"Bella." Edward looked up at me and smiled.

My lips naturally smiled back at him. He took my hand and led me through the forest, but it wasn't scary anymore, because now Edward was with me. We were in our meadow, and the flowers were in full bloom.

He took my hand and twirled me around him. I giggled and swatted at his chest.

"You know I can't dance, Edward!"

He smiled. "You can here. Here you can do anything you want to, Bella."

And so it was. I danced with Edward, twirling and jumping and stepping and turning. He would hold me close and whisper sweet nothings in my ear, and I would blush and giggle flirtatiously. Every time I thought he was about to kiss me, he stopped and spun me out, starting our dance all over again.

Once, before he pushed me away, I pulled back from him. He looked confused.

"Why won't you kiss me, Edward?"

He looked me in the eyes and leaned away, his smile faltering slightly.

"Whatever do you mean, dear Bella?" His voice was like honey to a bee. I almost forgot my question when he dazzled me, my head spinning lightly.

Almost.

"You won't kiss me."

Edward's eyes narrowed for a split second before he smiled again.

"We aren't supposed to kiss, Bella."

Well, this was news to me.

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I don't want to kiss you."

Shock. I felt betrayed and hurt, feelings I had never felt here before.

"What… What do you mean?"

"I mean that I do not want to kiss you, Bella. You're ugly. And you smell bad." Edward's nose wrinkled in distaste as he sniffed me lightly.

"But you love how I smell."

"Not anymore, I don't." WHAT?

"Why not?"

"Because you smell like _him_."

"Him? Him who?"

"My brother, Bella." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

It wasn't. "You have a brother?"

"Yes, Bella, keep up. Emmett? Jasper?" Edward's voice was exasperated.

"Oh. What are they like?" I asked curiously.

"You know them, Bella. Think." He paused for a moment himself to think. "Actually, don't worry about it. I love you Bella." His voice changed, and for a minute he was sickly sweet again.

"No. I don't understand. Who is… Ember? Was that his name?" What an odd name for a human.

Edward's golden eyes stared at me like I was crazy.

"What on earth are you talking about, Bella? I never said anything about anybody else."

"Oh." Really? Because I could swear we were talking about something… important…

"Okay, then. Kiss me." I smiled brightly up at him.

His eyes darkened to a deep black and his mouth grew bigger. Fangs started to protrude from his mouth. He hissed at me and leaned forward to kiss me.

What the fuck?

**Jasper's POV**

I could feel the horror seeping from Esme's skin- I could practically hear her thinking about her poor baby, and how we never should have left Bella.

Carlisle was distraught, yet a little fascinated, and conflicted about the fascination, I'd wager. His distraught won.

For the first time in my existence, I didn't understand what I was feeling. What was this gut feeling, this feeling of the world ending, of being torn piece for piece, meaning? Why did I feel that I was on fire?

I quickly checked my body and reassured myself that though Bella was hot, I was not, in fact, burning alive right now.

Bella? Hot? I just hoped my mind meant temperature-wise.

Then I was feeling as though I really needed to destroy something. I needed to break someone apart, tear them limb from limb, and burn the pieces. I needed to become Major Jasper Whitlock again.

At this last thought I shuddered. There was no way that I would ever go back to being that monster. Not if I was going to stay with Bella.

Bella. She was the only thing keeping me sane right now, keeping me from going and hunting someone off the streets, from killing her father and drinking his blood. Her presence in my arms, her presence itself, was the only thing keeping me in my seat. I leaned down and took a long sniff of her sweet aroma, freesias and strawberries and something else I couldn't quite place. She was beautiful yet vacant, curled up in my lap, her hair matted down her neck from the sweat of running through Volterra to find Edward.

Edward. If it weren't for him, we wouldn't be here right now. If it weren't for his stupid, know-it-all, pansy self, Bella's soft body wouldn't be here in my hold.

On that note, she would be _alive_, too.

"I think I don't quite understand, Charlie. Would you happen to have the papers about her… diagnosis, here with you?" Charlie nodded to Carlisle. "May I see them, so that I can better grasp what is ailing your daughter, and perhaps find a way to bring her out of it?" Charlie nodded again, this time getting up from his chair to stumble over to the kitchen table, fumbling around with a bunch of papers that had been precariously stacked on the edge of the table. It was then that I noticed the bottles of bourbon and taquila spread around the room. Charlie was drunk.

Finding what he was looking for, he returned to the couch and handed the papers to Carlisle, then walked back over to his chair and sat down. Carlisle scanned the papers, taking a few moments longer than needed to make it seem as though he 'read them at a human's pace'. Esme was still sobbing. No help there.

"Ah. I've heard of this before; it is quite rare. Well, we did already know that Bella was quite a stunning and rare creature, so it is no surprise that—"

"_Was_, Carlisle? Is there no way of saving her, then?" My tone was brittle and desolate. I needed to know how I could bring my Bella back to the land of the living.

My Bella? Since when has she been mine? Alice is gone for no longer than two days and suddenly my head is filled with the mate of my brother? What is wrong of me? She is Edward's Bella. Edward's Bella.

"No, son, I'm afraid not." I feel my dead heart start to shrivel at the thought of Edward's Bella never smiling again, never feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin again, or laughing at something Emmett says about Edward's feminine side.

"Oh! Now that I think about it… there is _one_ way, I suppose, but seeing that Edward is gone, it would be very hard to carry through. I believe it's going to be virtuously impossible to bring her back, Jasper. I'm sorry." Carlisle felt a little confused at the end, and I guessed that he didn't understand why he was apologizing to _me._

"How?" I need to know!

"Well, if someone that she loved or trusted very much were to be around her more often, to do small things for her body, like feeding her or brushing her hair, she would learn to depend on that person. If we stopped those ministrations suddenly her mind should come back, noticing the absence of that which she depended on and trying to figure out where it went. It'd be a tricky gamble, but it's the only chance we have."

Carlisle's voice was laced with doubt, and he was emitting reluctance and worry.

What if I could do this? What if I brushed her hair, fed her, changed her, took her to the bathroom? What if she depended on me? What if she loved me?

A thrill went through my body at the last thought.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

"However, she would have to be relocated. I'm sorry, Charlie, but this house is not in the ideal condition for a patient like Bella. She would need to be in a safe house, a clean room of sorts, in order for this to actually work. Do you understand what I mean, Charlie?"

Charlie dropped his head to his hands and started sobbing at the same time that Esme stopped. His tears fell to the wooden floor and soon there was a small puddle beneath him. The light outside started to fade, and sitting here with a crying man who was emitting such horrible feelings of loss and sorrow, almost the equivalent of those that Bella felt in the car on the way here, was about to drive me insane.

I sent a strong wave of despair towards him, then let him cry himself dry and sent him some relief. He should be relieved that we would offer to take care of Bella. He should be, but he was fighting to stay unhappy with himself. I pushed at him harder, wanting him to feel relief so badly, and he finally gave in. He sighed and looked up at Carlisle.

"Okay. Take her away. Just promise me that she'll be taken care of, that she'll be better. Promise me."

Carlisle nodded his head.

"I promise."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**Bella's POV**

Edward crouched, ready to spring, and I ran. I didn't get far before I felt arms around my waist, pulling me back and turning me around to see the eyes of a monster staring back at me.

It was truly frightening.

"Do you get it now? Why I am not supposed to kiss you, to even think of kissing you?" Edward growled.

I shuddered and nodded my head in acquiescence and he stepped back from me, releasing all but my hand.

"So, what do you want for dinner, my Bella?"

I smiled as we walked back to our meadow, happy.

But I won't forget how scary he can get when he lets the monster out to play.

And next time… next time I'll be ready for it.

**Jasper's POV**

My soared with joy at the thought of Bella living with us. When she woke up we could play chess and battleship and PS3 and Halo and we could go on long walks through the forest and—

"Carlisle," I asked on the drive home. "She _is_ going to be staying with us, right?"

He looked back at my face in surprise.

"Of course, Jasper! Where else would we put such a fragile human? Edward was obviously right—she does need as much protection as we can give her."

We all silenced at the thought of Edward. We were trying not to think about it much, but we sort of did miss his know-it-all-ness. He would know what to do to save her, or he would just change her to make her better.

Well. No, he wouldn't, I realized. He would have tried anything and everything possible and viewed becoming a vampire the last thing he would ever do to his Bella.

His Bella that is still in my arms. Carlisle had tried to take her from me, but I had shocked us all at growling and crouching. He smiled a little a nodded.

"If only Alice were here, then we could know if—"

Esme's voice cut off with the realization of what she was saying.

Alice. Oh, my Alice. If she were here now we would probably already know what would happen to Bella.

But my mate was gone. She was dead. There's no way that the Volturi would let her live, not if Aro simply touched her hand. He would know all about Bella, know that a human knows our secret and would kill her instantly. He would rip her apart, limb from glorious limb, and burn the pieces in the oven they have in the dungeon. I will never see her again, that beautiful, radiant smile that makes anyone it is turned to smile in return. I will never hear that tinkling giggle she calls 'laughing'. I will never touch her small, soft body with the knowledge that she is mine. I will never…

"Jasper, please, I know you are grieving the loss of Alice, but try not to project so much before I take Esme right here in front of you and Bella."

"Sorry, Carlisle."

"It is alright, son. I only asked you to stop to spare you the discomfort of seeing your mother that way."

"Thank you, father."

"Of course, son. Plus we don't want to traumatize your Bella anymore, do we?"

_My _Bella.

"She's not mine."

"Oh, yes, did I say that? I meant our Bella."

_Edward's Bella is nothing like my Alice._

Where did that thought come from? I wondered. It was true, though; Edward's Bella was nothing like my Alice. Where Alice was flamboyant and outgoing, Bella was shy and quiet. Where Alice was always dancing with her gracefulness, Bella was so clumsy it was dangerous. Where Alice liked to talk and shop, Bella likes to…

My thoughts stopped as I noticed I was thinking of Alice in the past tense.

Wrenching myself from those thoughts, I took a minute to observe Bella.

Her hair was still matted and sweaty, but I could tell that if it were washed and brushed she would have long, thick brown curls. Her skin was paler than that of most humans, almost as white as a vampire. Her lips were soft and pink and almost full, and would be more stunning if she were smiling. Her ears were a little too small for her head, but they matched her personality in a way I couldn't describe. Her eyes towards the car door next to me, unseeing and nearly unblinking. They were dead, no light reflecting from them whatsoever, and they seemed to darken as I stared at them. I remembered how beautiful they once were, so full of life and joy and happiness and… _love._

I determined right then and there that I would make her smile again. I didn't care if she was dead to the world right now, but I will make her smile. I will make her eyes light up with a soft mirth and glee and laughter. I will make her want to live again, but mostly of all, I will make her want to _love_ again.

_Why do I care?_ I asked myself.

I stopped looking at her eyes to behold the rest of her body.

She had a beautiful neck, long and not too thick but not too thin. She had thin shoulders that hunched inwards a little, her natural posture from being so shy and nervous all the time. Her arms were long and slender, just like her fingers. Her nails bore signs of previous biting habits, but were untouched as of late. Her breasts were small but firm looking, and I guessed that if I were to take one in one of my hands it would be a perfect fit. A little disturbed by how casually this thought came to me, I made myself look at her stomach. It was soft and not flat at all; in fact, she was so skinny that she was caving in on herself. I thanked my lucky stars that my Bella—Edward's Bella—has always loved Esme's cooking. Edward's Bella's thighs were almost as thin as her calves, which worried me a bit. Okay, it worried me a lot. Had she really not been eating? Was she anorexic now? Was it Edward leaving that triggered this anorexia?

No, it would have been our whole family leaving. I'm sure she could have survived if _just_ Edward had left her, but since the whole family left her all at once she didn't know what to do. We had taken her in as one of us, we had told her she'd have us for eternity, we had told her we loved her, we had told her that she was an unofficial Cullen, and then we left her.

I was starting to understand her a little more, but it frustrated me that I couldn't just ask her to get answers to my many questions.

"Bella?" I asked, a new thought occurring to me. We hadn't really talked to her, so I figured we should let her know we were there, let her know that we were here for her, no matter what. "Bella, can you hear me? It's Jasper." I prayed to all the gods that I'd ever heard of that this human could hear me, understand me.

If she could, the only response I got was more dead-eyes-staring-out-the-window. I wished that she would acknowledge me, my presence.

"Bella, it's Esme." She had apparently caught on to my reasoning and was now turning around in the front seat to stare at the girl curled up in my arms.

"I just wanted to let you know how really, truly sorry I am for leaving you. How sorry Carlisle and I both are. I knew it wouldn't be easy for you, and I told him so, but he wouldn't listen to me. I'm so sorry, Bella." I could feel Esme's sincerity washing back at us.

"Bella, we are taking you home with us. You can stay as long as you like—we won't leave you again. I will have a family meeting to make sure of it, okay?" Carlisle was trying to push tranquility at me, but I could tell he was worried by the family's reaction.

It was only then that I noticed that the family hadn't been with us for a while, that they weren't there at Charlie's house when we got there.

"Where is everyone?" I asked.

"Jasper…" Esme looked back at us again, her eyes worried. "We called them on the way to the Swan residence and let them know they should return to the house until we arrived home. Don't you remember?"

"Sorry, I was thinking." I murmured.

Her eyebrows pulled together as she watched me.

"Jasper… I'm sorry. I wish that we'd known where Alice was going, then maybe we could have helped…"

"No, mom, it's okay. She wouldn't have let us help anyway, and besides, I talked to her on the plane, remember?"

That's right…

She broke her promise. She had promised me that she would make it home safely, and she didn't. She lied to me.

Anger started to fizzle throughout the car and I felt Bella twitch slightly in my arms. I glanced down at her, interest replacing anger. Could she feel that? Could she feel my anger, my interest? Did she hear me? Would she ever respond?

I nuzzled her ear. "It's okay, Bella. I'm here now."

I knew I was only comforting myself.

Please review! I'd really love to know what you're thinking!

In the next chapter we get the family's response to Bella's predicament. FUN!

I hope to update AGAIN tonight, so look out!

~Daphinora


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Bella's POV

Edward was holding me in his arms when I suddenly felt an irrational anger directed towards me. I twitched in Edward's arms and looked around our meadow, trying to find the source of the anger. A few seconds after it started, it was gone.

"Bella?" It stung a bit that Edward didn't sound worried, just concerned, but I pushed that out of my head and turned my face to his. His eyes were happy, but there was something beneath the happiness that distressed me. Edward let out his breath into my unsuspecting face, and I forgot what I was thinking about.

"I thought I saw something." I smiled at him and faced down again, letting him smell my hair as I melted into his natural heat.

I almost shrieked when something cold nuzzled my ear, but a voice flitted through my mind and calmed me.

_**It's okay, Bella. I'm here now.**_

Jasper's POV

I uprooted another tree when I thought of Bella. The family nearly killed me when Carlisle, Esme, and I got home with Bella. It was insane, and it still is.

_We got out of the car, me still holding Bella, and walked steadily into the house, where everyone was already waiting in the living room. Guess Carlisle didn't need to call a meeting, after all. The tension in the air was so thick it would take a vampire's teeth to cut through it._

This thought would have made me giggle like a schoolgirl if I hadn't reminded myself that Bella was in my arms, and that I am not a schoolgirl. I made my way to the loveseat to sit with Bella, but Emmett blocked my way.

_ "Oh, no, you don't. I want to hold her, it's my turn! Swanny!" He grabbed at Bella but quickly stopped when he saw the venom dripping off of my teeth and heard the loud growl emitting from my chest. The strong dose of fear I sent him might have slowed him down, too._

_ I continued to the loveseat._

_ "Carlisle, what's wrong with her? She isn't moving." Rosalie asks._

_ "It's hard to explain…" So he explained._

Meanwhile, I was sitting there with Edward's dead-not-dead human in my lap, my family's emotions powerful and all depressing, and a serious migraine from trying too hard not to think about Alice or Edward.

Esme sensed my discomfort and moved to sit by me, holding my hand and stroking Bella's soft face. I growled softly but she ignored me, keeping her hand on Bella's head. Sighing, I gave up trying to fend her off, which then gave way to Emmett bounding over with an unhappy look on his face that gives the impression someone has just brutally kicked and mauled his puppy.

He demanded that I let him hold her.

"No." She's my Bella! MINE!

"Jasper, son, I think you should go out to the woods and let it all come to you, okay? Rosalie and I will follow you to make sure you don't lose control. Bella will be fine with Emmett. Let's go, son."

Surprisingly, Rosalie didn't argue with Carlisle having volunteered her for Jasper Duty, instead she stood up and kissed Emmett on the cheek, then turned to me expectantly.

I glared at her.

"Make me." I said, not wanting to give up the warmth of Edward's Bella's body against mine.

So that's how I ended up in the forest, without Bella, thinking about Alice and why she would choose to sacrifice herself.

Was I not good enough for her?

I had always been a bit insecure about how angelic she is compared to my devilishness, but she had always brushed that aside and told me she loved me the way she was. So either she was lying or it couldn't be that, and I like to think that she wouldn't have lied to me.

Did she love Edward more than the rest of us?

No, she loved me. She had to have loved me; she was my mate. She was the one that learned how to be vegetarian alongside me, who stayed with me through all my trials and errors and failures and successions. She taught me how to make love with someone, instead of that sexual fuck that just gets you high for a few moments. She taught me how to be a better vampire, and for that I'll be forever grateful. She wouldn't do all that if she just wanted Edward, right?

Right?

**Bella's POV**

I felt cold, and for the first time I could remember, the sky started to cry, it's loud sobs frightening, yet it's tears never seemed to touch me or the ground. I looked around for Edward and found him behind me, his eyebrows pushed together as he looked up at the sky.

"What is it?" I asked him. As soon as I spoke his face smoothed out, and he looked at me, expressionless.

"A thunderstorm." His voice was flat.

"What does it mean?"

"It means nothing, it's natural, Bella."

"Oh." A thought occurred to me. "Edward, where's your shirt?"

"Shirt?" He asked me incredulously. "Do you want me to cover myself?"

"No! I just meant that I was curious, is all."

"That's what I thought." His voice was bordering on cruel and I felt something wet hit my cheek. I looked up at the sky, at the thunderstorm. After I stared straight up into the sky for what would seem ages, another tear fell and hit my other cheek.

"What are you doing, Bella? Get away from that!" Edward sounded condescending and I wanted to punch him, but I knew I shouldn't because he's a…

He's a what? I asked myself.

Suddenly the sky brightened and Edward walked back to me, taking me in his arms and resting his warm cheek against mine, his green eyes staring lovingly into my soul. I forgot my train of thought and concentrated on this feeling, the one of him being here, with me. This feeling of warmth.

**I'm back, Bella. I missed you.**

I smiled.

I missed you, too.

**Jasper's POV**

After four days of beating up trees and various animals, I decided it was safe enough to return to my Bella.

Edward's Bella.

As soon as I got within hearing range of the house, I knew something was wrong. I pushed myself harder and faster to the house.

What if something was wrong with Bella? What would I do if she doesn't get better? What will I do when she eventually grows older and dies?

Right now she was the only thing keeping me sane.

Well, as sane as I ever was, anyway. I thought to myself.

"Esme? What's wrong with Bella?" I asked her urgently, coming to a quick stop an inch away from her.

"Nothing dear, we're just trying to figure out… Well, she won't eat. She won't speak, either, even though Charlie said she would when you directed a question to her. She hardly moves, too. How can we keep her alive long enough to become one again if she can't even eat?" Esme was slowly coming undone, and I was relieved temporarily when Carlisle came through the door and hugged her to him.

He stared me down and started giving orders like he was a general. "Jasper, go to her. Speak to her, I know she responded earlier."

"It was only a twitch, and it only lasted—"

Carlisle interrupted me. "She trusts you, Jasper. She needs you. Go to her."

"Yessir."

I stalked over to the dining room table where Bella was sitting in a chair, staring emptily through her full bowl of soup.

I sent her my feelings of longing for her and sadness for her and happiness to see her to her. I tried to send her warmth.

"I'm back, Bella. I missed you."

A/N:

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~Daphinora


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

**Jasper's POV**

I love Bella's warmth. It makes me want to send everyone feelings of love, which I do frequently now. Just thinking about Bella being in my arms sends a tingly feeling of warmth through my body. I still don't understand it, but it had always been there, from the moment I first saw her with Edward, holding his hand. I was immediately jealous, and Alice looked a little smug.

Oh, how I wish that I understood Alice. I miss her terribly. But if she were here, I would only feel even more guilty about the way my body reacts around Bella.

Bella… we got her to move. Well, I did. She won't move around anybody but me, and I often find myself casually holding her hand or lightly, ever so lightly, brushing her cheek with my knuckles.

I look down at Bella, my sweet, sweet Bella, lying in my arms. This is how she sleeps because when Emmett holds her at night she starts to tremble and she cries out in fear, which makes Emmett more than a little sad, and her eyes stay open when nobody's holding her. Rosalie doesn't really want to come near Bella, but instead helps make the food for her with Esme. Carlisle just tells me to do it, saying something about how she responds only to me.

As most American girls would say these days, 'Whatever.'

Bella breathes out a snore and turns towards me a little in her sleep.

I never would have guessed it, but she really does snore. She doesn't yell out loud when she's with me, either, and she doesn't tremble in fear. She actually seems to relax. Well, her body does, anyway.

Wait. My Bella? My sweet, sweet Bella?

No.

Edward's Bella.

Edward's Bella. Edward's Bella. Edward's Bella. EDWARD'S Bella.

I wish she _was_ my Bella. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so conflicted.

And why _do_ I feel for her? Is it because of my natural instinct to protect my family? Is that what she is to me, family? Do I love her like a sister? Am I just an overprotective older brother?

How would she feel?

She probably feels as if she is still Edward's Bella.

So she IS Edward's Bella.

I pulled away from Bella a bit, saddened by the thought that she really isn't mine to keep. Charlie will want her back when she's better; I can't keep her.

She whimpers and scoots closer to me, her hands coming up to grab my shirt.

"No…"

Oh!

Oh!

Bella spoke!

"Bella…?"

"No." Her voice was so clear!

"Bella, it's Jasper. Do you need to use the restroom?"

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at me.

"Jasss…" her eyes shut and she fell back asleep.

I looked up at a wide-eyed Rosalie, who had come to the door to help Bella to the bathroom if need be.

"She spoke." Says Rosalie, surprised yet happy.

"WHAT?" Emmett appears behind Rosalie with a scared yet merry expression. His feelings were the same. "You mean she was speaking and you didn't call me? Can she still hear us?"

"Emmett, calm down. It was only for a few seconds, and she only spoke on word." I said, trying to placate a now unhappy Emmett.

"Well, what was it?"

"No," I said. "She said 'no'." And her voice was so soft, so scared, like she was in danger.

Was she in danger being with me? Was that what I was doing to this beautiful yet vacant creature? Was I making this worse? Should I leave her? Could I leave her?

No, I figured. I may be putting her in danger, but it would kill me to leave her. I don't think I could force myself more than three miles away from her, which is how far I can push myself to go when I need to hunt. I don't want to hurt Bella, God forbid. Whenever I'm away from Bella there's this feeling in my chest that feels like someone is trying to claw out my heart, and I feel all alone. So suddenly, irrevocably alone, and it feels like it will last forever.

"Bella, my Bella." I say and kiss her lightly on the forehead.

**Bella's POV**

Edward and I were lying next to each other in the grass, holding hands. My body felt warm as the bright sun sent its loving rays down to me. The flowers around us were in full bloom and I took a deep breath in.

It smells of honey and something sweet yet manly, but I just figure that's Edward's musk.

He rolled over and smiled to me, pulling me closer to him. We just lay there, staring into each other's eyes. It was one of those moments that made me think _'This beautiful human is _MINE_'_ with awe. How could I ever have acquired this wonderful man? His bright green eyes, those thick eyebrows, those high cheekbones, that curly blonde hair…

Curly blonde hair?

I looked back at Edward's hair and it was his brown sex hair again.

_I'm going crazy,_ I think to myself.

Edward frowns and tries to pull away from me.

"No…" I say. Please, don't leave me.

He froze and stared at me, wide-eyed.

"No," I say again.

_**… It's Jasper…**_

Oh! So my mystery voice has a name now. Jasper. Isn't that a gemstone? It must be male, so I doubt it was named after a gem. I had the sudden urge to let his name roll off of my tongue, to let him know that I knew who he was.

"Jasss-"

"Bella." Edward interrupted me. "What are you talking about?" He looked at me kind of funny. You know that look, the one people give you when you're having a bad hair day? That's the look he was giving me. Kind of pitying, yet trying not to laugh.

"Nothing," I tell him. "Hold me." And he does.

_**Bella, my Bella.**_

_Yes,_ I think to Jasper._ I'm yours._

I start to feel happy; happier than I'd ever felt before, and I knew it was Jasper. It was because of Jasper that I could feel this; Jasper's voice made me feel safe, wanted. It made me feel special.

**Jasper's POV**

A tendril of happiness tickled my empathetic senses, and I looked at Rose and Em curiously.

"What?" asked Rosalie.

"Isn't that you?" I asked her.

Her eyebrows drew together and she looked at me like I was starting to tip off the deep end. She only sent out confusion, and Emmett sent out worry.

Then where—

Oh!

"Bella?" I asked, shocked. She snuggled into my cold, hard body and twitched a smile, sighing happily.

I was a statue beneath her.

She was happy.

I'm a monster.

How could I do this to her? She's so happy in there, content to be dead-not-dead, and here I am, trying to pull her out. What kind of sick, selfish person am I, to pull her out of her happiness for my own pleasure?

What kind of pleasure would I even get if I woke her up? She would be mad at me, and sad that she had to leave her happy place. She would hate me forever.

I couldn't bare it anymore and I pushed Bella off of me, running down the stairs and out of the house, going as far as I could go before the pain consumed me.

* * *

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	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

**Jasper's POV**

All rational thought ceased in my mind when the pain erupted in my chest. I fell to the ground, clutching Bella's hairbrush in my palm, and curled into a ball of self-loathing and disgust.

How would I have done that to Bella? Why would I have done that? If she was truly happy in there, we shouldn't force her out. But what if she isn't really happy in there? What if she's deluded herself into thinking she's happy up there? We should just kill her, put her out of her misery.

At this thought the flames of my disgust and pain snapped at me, growing even larger until I couldn't think anymore than her name.

_Bella… Bella… Bella… Bella…_

Like a heartbeat it continued.

I didn't hear the footsteps approaching me until they were within my three-mile-Bella-diameter.

**Bella's POV**

The happiness was so warm and loving, I would have ceased existing right there on the spot if the pain hadn't come.

The pain; that searing, white-hot pain coming from all directions. The sun was gone, and in its place was an empty orange circle that seemed incredibly flat. For the first time I could remember, I didn't know where Edward was. I couldn't feel his reassuring warmth near me, nor could I hear his voice telling me that everything was going to be okay. That's when I realized that I didn't really care about Edward anymore. He wasn't the one whose voice I needed to hear. His wasn't the voice that could keep me happy. His arms weren't the ones I longed to be in. His touch wasn't the one I wanted to feel with every fiber of my being. This thought blocked out the freezing burn for a moment before I realized I couldn't feel it anymore. Then it started again, colder then before, yet hotter than ever.

_Jasper? Where are you? Jasper? Help me, please! Jasper!_

I writhed on the cold ground, whimpering and gasping.

I couldn't tell you how long this lasted, but it didn't seem to last very long. I could feel my heart beating faster, my breath hitching in response. With my last breath, for I knew I must have been dying, I called out to the only one who could make me feel warm.

"Jasper!"

**Carlisle's POV**

"Rose, Emmett, go fetch Jasper. Don't bring him too close to Bella. No matter how much faith I have in my son, I know that he wouldn't be able to control himself around her right now." Though, whether it would be bloodlust or just _lust_, I'm not too sure. "Go, now." I sighed and gave them a slight push as they stood gawking at Bella.

They ran out of the room.

I turned to Bella to see her curled up on her side, her arms clutching her torso as if she'd fall apart if she didn't hold herself together. She whimpered and I moved towards her, brushing her hair out of her face and behind her ears. I whispered softly to her, trying to get her to acknowledge me somehow, but she kept whimpering. Her heart started to beat faster, getting to be so fast that if I weren't a vampire I wouldn't be able to catch her pulse.

_156. That isn't normal._

_ What about this family _is_ normal?_

I restrained a snort and continued to count her heartbeats as they continued to steadily gain pace. This was not a time for snorting.

If Bella's heart rate got too fast, her heart could falter from its beat and stop altogether.

_Jasper would die._

No. I wouldn't let anything happen to my daughter or my son. Expecially if they really are…

No. Think about Bella.

Bella. Her heart kept getting faster. I told a frightened Esme to fetch my medical bag from my office at once. She was back a few seconds later, bag in hand. I took it from her and tried to do whatever I could to get Bella's heartbeat back to normal.

_A normal 69._

After about three hours of doing everything I could to slow down her heart, which was now at an astounding 378 beats per minute, I pulled out my cell phone and called Emmett.

_It's amazing she's still alive._

"Hey." Emmett's worried and serious voice came over the phone.

"Did you find him?"

"Well… yeah. Sort of."

"Sort of?" _What the hell do you mean?_

Emmett apparently had grasped the gravity of the situation and answered me immediately, as if he were a soldier reporting to his general.

"He won't move… won't even budge. I've tried to ply him off the ground, but he won't move an inch. He's making some sort of weird noise with his chest. Carlisle, I've never heard this before. Do you know what's wrong with him?"

_Shit._

"Shit."

"Shit? Carlisle, did you just cuss? Oh my god. Carlisle just cussed, Rosalie! He did! He said 'shit'!" I heard the resounding _whap_ of Rosalie's hand hitting the back of Emmett's head. He muttered a curse and sighed.

"Emmett!"

"Oh. Yeah?"

"We need to change Bella."

"WHAT?"

"Well, it's Jasper. He and Bella, they're…"

"JASPER!"

The sound came from my right. I turned and stared as Bella sat up quickly, her heart stopping entirely. Her eyes were wide as she shuddered and fell back to the table.

Esme appeared by her side, taking Bella's hand in hers and sobbing.

"What the fuck was that? Carlisle, is Bella okay?" Emmett's loud voice brought me back to the phone.

"No, Emmett." I said slowly. "Bella is dead."

**A/N:**

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	8. Chapter 8

_**IF YOU GIVE ME 100 REVIEWS YOU WILL RECIEVE 3 MORE CHAPTERS BY NEXT WEDNESDAY!**_

Chapter Eight

**Emmett's POV**

Oh, God.

No. Nonononono. Bellaboo? She just screamed. Was that Jasper's name she just yelled out?

"What the fuck was that? Carlisle, is Bella okay?" I started to think the worse. What if she fell down and cracked her head open? What if she woke up without Jasper there? I couldn't imagine Jasper's—or Bella's, for that matter—reaction to being without each other when Bella woke. If Jasper wasn't killing himself already, then he sure as hell will. Soon.

"No, Emmett. Bella is dead."

Then the ground exploded.

I was knocked to my ass for a split second before my awesome vampire reflects pushed me in front of Rose, snarling and growling at the new enemy.

It was Jasper.

He was holding my phone.

He was crushing my phone.

I liked that phone.

I growled some more.

He looked up at me and grrrrred back.

Douche bag. He broke my phone! I readied myself to charge at him even though I knew that he would win.

Well, at least he got up off of the ground, right?

But he killed Bella!

_Asshole._

I pushed the pain I was feeling over Bella's death towards Jasper, letting the emotions get the best of me.

I rethought my earlier statement; if Jasper wasn't already killing himself, I sure as fuck will.

Which, seeing as he is now moving back to the ground, his face scrunched up, I assumed he was ready for.

"_BELLA!"_ Jasper howled like a wolf.

He jumped to his feet and started running to the house. I shared a look with Rose before we took off after him.

_Idiot._

**Jasper's POV**

No. NO. !

All rational thoughts fled from my mind as I got closer to the house.

Some part of my mind realized that I was in my natural vampire mode, but the rest of me pushed that away. I didn't care.

Bella.

I heard a rustle from inside the huge clear building and immediately raced towards it.

Threat. It's a threat to my mate.

I won't let you touch her, asshole.

Before my mind caught up to my actions, I was crouching in front of my mate, a continual, feral growl erupting from somewhere deep inside me, a blonde vampire and a soft brunette vampire across from me.

_I can take her easily, no signs of fighting skills, scared. She seems to be backing away in fear already. Smells relatively new, born sometime this century._

_He smells more like trouble, but still no signs of fighting. Older; about three hundred years older than the woman. Mated to the brunette. Threat._

_Destroy all vampires who are a threat to my mate._

_Protect Bella at _all_ costs._

The older one straightened out of his natural crouch and put his hands out for me to see them.

I snarled at him, still growling.

"Jasper, son, remember yourself. We will not hurt her. She is our daughter; what would we have to gain from hurting her?"

I didn't let up, though I could feel the waves of sincerity coming off of him.

"Jasper! Please. Why are you doing this? I don't understand. Carlisle, what is happening?" The brunette said to the blonde.

"Esme…" Carlisle paused and cocked his head, as did mine.

Somebody was downstairs.

I crouched again, unaware that I had even straightened.

_New threats. Big, from the sounds of his movements, and somewhat new. A little younger than Brunette. Smaller, older one, older than her mate and Brunette._

_Threats._

"No! Emmett, Rosalie, go hunt. Do _not_ come up here. Jasper is freaking out as it is."

The threats started to leave the house, but didn't go too far. I could still feel their curiosity and exasperation from about two miles out. I knew they could still hear us.

"Esme, to answer your question…"

My head snapped back towards Blondie. He smiled at me and continued to speak.

"Jasper and Bella are mates."

Brunette gasped, but I didn't care.

The gasp from behind me forced my attention to my now wide-awake mate.

I looked into her soft silver eyes and smiled.

**A/N:**

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	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:**

**Sorry; I know that I don't usually put my Author's Note at the beginning of a story (makes it harder to ignore) but I just wanted to thank all my lovely readers, and my absolutely exquisite unofficial BETA for all the support that has been shown to me this past month. Here's a nice juicy, long chapter for ya! ENJOY**

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Chapter Nine

*****Bella's POV*****

The cold was becoming too much. Much too much.

_Jasper? I need you. Where are you? Come back!_

And he did. As suddenly as it had started, the pain was gone, and in its place was a small lukewarm feeling.

_**Threats.**_

With Jasper's word in my mind, I sat up slowly and silently. The meadow was gone, but I could see him now. I could see Jasper, or at least I assume he is Jasper because he was by far the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.

I gasped at his stunning ass. Wow.

I can't wait to mark my mate in the throws of passion...

Wait. Mate?

I compared my memories- now dim, it seems, contrasted to my current, sharp eyesight- and gasped again.

Something was wrong. I was seeing people in greens and blues and golds, everyone's face a different shade, and one man's –vampire's– face was glittering.

_What the fuck?_

_**My mate, mine. She's awake.**_

I smiled at Jasper. He really is handsome. His sharp eyes, his angular yet soft jaw, his pale cheeks, his blue eyes.

Blue eyes? Jasper has golden eyes! _What the fuck?_

_**Bella, it's okay. Please don't be frightened…**_

I looked up at the glittery vampire's face.

"I'm not frightened." I paused for a second to absorb the sound of my voice; it was like milk over honey, the soft whisper of flower petals in the wind. _What the fuck? _"Just confused. Can't you feel that?"

_**Of course I can feel that.**_ He smirked at me and I found my lips smiling in response, mouth parted slightly.

Carlisle's voice brought me back, changing my eyesight back to normal. Well, as close to normal as you can get being a vampire.

"How unusual," says Carlisle. "Your eyes are silver and your heart isn't beating! What happened?"

"I don't know." I said slowly, my mind racing faster than usual to understand my new predicament. "I'm kind of thirsty, though, so can we talk while I drink something? It feels as though my throat is on fire." I grimaced at the feeling and noticed Carlisle's perplexed look.

"What?" Curiostiy.

"Bella…" He took a step towards me but quickly retreated when my mate growled a warning at him while slipping into a crouch. "What do you think you're thirsty for, exactly?"

Huh. I hadn't thought about that.

"Water." It came out more like a question than a statement.

I gasped. "Where's Charlie? What am I doing here? Where's Edward? Why isn't he here?"

They looked back at me in shock.

"What?" Annoyance.

"Bella, dear… Don't you remember going to Volterra?" asks Esme.

"What?" Confusion.

"Bella. Edward is dead." Carlisle states.

"What?" Disbelief.

"Don't you know any other words?" questions Jasper.

"What?" Defensive.

Jasper frowned. "Bella." I blinked and lowered my gaze to my pale hands.

"I just saw him, though; in the meadow! We were just there!" Another thought occurred to me. "Alice?" Jasper's eyes dimmed a bit when I spoke her name, but my hand grabbed his and he and smiled. "Where is she? And what is this about Volterra?" I asked, frowning at our intertwined hands.

Jasper explained with what seemed like a memory:

_**Hunting, drinking an elk dry while Emmett and Carlisle dined elsewhere. Stepping back to admire my work. The phone in my pocket rings with Alice's ring tone. Nervousness.**_

_**"Alice?"**_** Please, please let her be okay!**

_**"No." Bella? Oh, no. **_**She sounds…**

_**She starts to breathe heavily through the phone, unintentionally, I know.**_

**… on the verge of a breakdown.**

_**"Bella." Breathe. "Is she okay?" Her breathing hitches. "Where is she?" She starts to regulate her breathing. "Where is Edw—"**_

_**"Jasper." She interrupts me, her breathing erratic now. I try to send some calming waves to her through the phone, but it doesn't work. I frown.**_

_**"Don't know," she responds to my first question. **_**Is she okay? Don't know.**

_**"With Volturi." My whole body tenses up and I find myself running back to the house. How could she be with the Volturi? Did they force her to stay? Fuck! We're all screwed if she decided to stay. Maybe she was offered a chance to save Edward by taking his place with the Volturi? It seems something she'd do…**_

_**"Dead."**_

_**I'm in the house now, and everyone heard Bella's little, strong, defiant voice state that one word. A look of horror crossed my face, and everyone else's soon after. I try not to project my feelings onto them.**_

_**Alice is dead? Alice is dead? No, this can't be. I don't feel wrong. I don't feel the way it does when your mate dies. She can't be dead. Did the Volturi kill her? She can't be dead; the Volturi find her as too much of an asset.**_

_**Then it hits me: Bella isn't talking about **_**Alice**_**, she's talking about **_**Edward**_**!**_

_**Oh, Gods above. My poor Bella. She must be heart broken, full of despair. Did she have to see it? Did they make her watch her mate's demise? Did they let her go only to deliver the bad news to us herself?**_

_**Assholes. I'll make them pay, one way or another.**_

_**"I'm so sorry, Bella." More than you will ever know. My poor, poor Bella. "Okay. We'll sort this out later." We won't deal with it, of course. We just lost two family members and are most likely to receive one back broken. Fuck.**_

_**"Where are you?"**_

_**"A plane." A plane? Oh, of course. She's coming back. I was already pacing downstairs, walking around the furniture, sometimes picking it up and walking under it. Our kind is known for being so still, yet I couldn't seem to stop my movements for anything.**_

_**Bella's voice sounds kind of funny… Different, I suppose you could say. Different. Like she was laughing at an inside joke that she'd heard millions of times before, something that had gotten so old it wasn't even funny anymore.**_

_**My poor, poor, poor Bella.**_

_**Wait. Where is she going? It is likely that she could be going to Arizona to seek comfort with her mother, where she can be warm and forget about the coolness of us Cullens, where she can forget about us. Me.**_

_**"To?" Please, please let her say here. Please. Seattle. Seattle. Seattle. Please?**_

_**"Seattle." Yes! Thank you, my lovely, lovely Bella.**_

_**"Emmett, Rosalie, start the cars. Carlisle, Esme, bring some water and food for Bella. We're going to go pick her up from the airport." They are all still for a moment, confusion their main mutual feeling. "NOW!" They snap to attention and do as they're told.**_

_**I know that Bella hasn't heard me speaking to the remains of my family, as I was speaking too fast for her to hear. I respond to Bella.**_

_**"We'll be there."**_

_**As much as it kills me, I hang up on her.**_

_**I will be there for her, whether she wants me or not.**_

_**Forever.**_

I gasped in horror. It all came back to me then, clicking into my mind like broken puzzle pieces just dying to be put together again. Jasper smiled at me and took my hand, rubbing circles on the back of it. I smiled softly in return, waiting for the memories to stop.

From my first words to the first time I'd seen the Cullens to the first time I threw myself off the cliff in La Push to the last time I saw Edward and Alice, Jasper calmly traced patterns on the back of my hand.

Finally they halted, and I had some sense of my surrounding again. Everyone was looking at me in shock as Jasper tried desperately to calm me down.

I looked at my mate, confused. Wasn't Edward my mate?

"He wasn't. I'm not to sure, but I think Alice had something to do with it. I don't believe that you and Edward are mates; y'all's feelings for each other were nothing but a hundredth of what Carlisle and Esme feel for each other, and it always confounded me. How could two mates not care for each other that deeply? That's why I thought that if Edward left you, it wouldn't hurt."

I just stared at Jasper. Jasper, my mate, my one true love. How do I know that he's really my mate?

"Bella." Jasper frowned. "Would you like to feel what I feel for you? Would you like to compare it to what Carlisle feels for Esme, to what Emmett feels for Rose? Would you then like to compare it to how Edward felt for you?" He looked at me solemnly, and I shivered at the look of pure love in his eyes. It warmed my soul; then he showed me.

It was indescribable; there were no words to tell how he felt for me. The closest things I could describe were love, lust, joy, elation, need, loyalty, and anger.

"Anger?"

He sighed. "At Edward for leaving you, for forcing us all to leave you. I understand now why it hurt you so much. The separation from just one of us might have been fine, but from all of us at once? It was too much to handle."

"How do you know that?"

He looked surprised. "Didn't you mean to project it all?"

My face must have been one huge question mark, because he sighed and sat me down. "Bella, you were projecting your memories into everyone else's minds. Which is a bit ironic, seeing as when you were human Edward couldn't hear your thoughts."

Oh. Was I still doing it? I hope not…

"Yes, you are, Bella." he said with a chuckle. I absorbed the sound of his chuckle, storing it in my mind for later evaluation. Meanwhile, the burn in my throat was becoming—

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to get sidetracked. Come on, let's go hunting now while Carlisle calls Eleazar. I have a feeling we'll want to know exactly what it is your little mind can do now, hm?"

He sure was talking a lot. Just take me hunting!

He laughed and dragged me to a window of the room, pulling me through it with him as we jumped to the sky, clearing the river and some of the trees in one leap.

Wow.

"I know; wow." He said, looking over at me and kissing me on the cheek.

I automatically lowered my face to hide the blush that would never come. I sighed.

"Do you… hate me?" Jasper asked uncertainly.

I looked at him in shock. How could I ever hate him?

"Bella? You stopped projecting. Is it true, then?" He started to let go of my hand, but I gripped his harder.

"Why would you think that?" I asked him, appalled.

"Well… before you changed, I left you to go… hunt. Before that, you were happy. You just felt so damn happy up there in your head, like there was nothing else you needed. You were content to just be comatose. I realized that I was trying to bring you away from that, trying to drag you from that happiness. I had decided to let you stay there, to leave you alone, when Carlisle called to bring me back. Then he told me you'd died. I nearly withered away right there on the spot, wanting to die with you, wishing that I'd never left you to die without me. I think me leaving you triggered it; I hadn't left you for more than the ten minutes it took to hunt since I picked you up at the airport, then I leave you for two hours? Yes, it must have been my leaving that caused you to fall from your happy place."

I stared at him.

Then I tried to project again, letting go of everything. I released my thoughts, my emotions, and my _self_ from behind the thin purple shield surrounding them.

He gasped as I showed him my newer memories, memories from after where they had left off earlier. I showed him Edward and myself in the meadow, and how I could hear his voice in my head. I showed him how he had made me happy, content, and warm. I showed him how desolate and isolated his leaving made me.

I could feel my eyes venom up with tears that would never fall as I showed him my own feelings for him, comparing them to my old feelings for Edward. I thought I had fallen for Edward fast, but since I'd only really talked to Jasper since I woke up and I was already feeling for him, I guess I was wrong.

I was in love with Jasper Cullen.


	10. Chapter 10

Daphinora's POV

This isn't working. I am so uninspired, it is kind of sad. I really just want to cry myself silly for not being able to work through this. I don't understand why, but I can't find it in me to keep writing this story. If, maybe, somebody could motivate me to keep writing, remind me why I love to write, that would be wonderful.

If not, then I will put this story out of its misery. Indefinitely.

Love,

Daphinora


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 10

*****Bella's POV*****

Jasper brought me into his arms, pulling me into his chest, into his dead heart, and leaving me there. We stood there for a long while, just holding each other, each lost in thoughts of the other.

Well, I hope.

What if he isn't thinking of me?

What if… he's thinking of…

Alice?

I stiffened and he pulled away to look at me confusedly, most likely tasting my emotions.

He doesn't love _me_, I realized. He wants me to fill in for Alice. Why would he want me?

Since when did I want him to love me?

Why would he? I left his wife in Volterra with the Big Bad Wolves, and I was the reason his brother died.

He could never love someone as despicable as me.

Therefore, he just wants another Alice.

Right?

All of these thoughts passed through my mind so fast it would have left a human reeling and confused.

"I'm not a replacement for _her,_" I spat. "I never will be."

Shocked, Jasper let go of me and took two steps back, his eyes wide and incredulous.

"What? No, Bella. That isn't what I want from you—"

"But you do want something from me, don't you?"

I turned and ran off into the woods, hoping against hope that he would chase me, tell me I was wrong, yet not wanting to confront him again.

_I hate this. I hate you. I hate you, Jasper Cullen._

I cried, or cried as much as a vampire could, as I ghosted through the trees. Then I came upon the most horrible smell. It smelt of old sneakers, rotten eggs, and…

Wet dog?

I followed the smell to see three giant wolves staring me down: one black as a human night, one chocolate brown, and the other a russet brown.

_Oh, Jake. I'm so sorry, Jake. I'm so sorry._

"Oh, Jake. Please. Please. Just kill me and get it over with. But don't hurt the Cullen's. I love them, Jake, just as I love you. I'm sorry." And with that I closed my eyes, waiting for the telltale screech of my limbs pulling apart, for the smell of venom filled smoke, for the feel of being in many parts, burning. I waited for giant teeth to sink into my torso, to rip me apart.

But they never came.

I opened my eyes as I felt a swoosh of cool air pass in front of me.

There _he_ was, crouched in front of me, a feral growl rumbling from deep within his chest, snarling at my smelly friends.

Jake snarled back at Jasper, crouching low, preparing to leap at my mate.

_My mate._

Of course! God, I'm so stupid! If he's my mate… then what was Alice? I thought that Alice and Jasper were mates. Besides, wasn't I Edward's mate?

It was then that I noticed thinking of him didn't hurt me at all. It was like there had never been any hole in my chest. I was perfect—not healed, but as if there had never been a wound in the first place.* I smiled. If Jasper was really my mate, should he not love me for who I am instead of wishing me to be more like Alice?

My mind raced, trying to figure out my feelings, until I heard a whimper of protest from one of the wolves. I looked up and knew immediately what was wrong, as Jasper was standing there grinning, not necessarily turning his back on the wolves but turning enough towards me to show his shit-eating smirk.

I had been projecting the whole time.

I could tell the difference, now, I noticed as I stopped projecting. When I was projecting, my mind seemed to work in overdrive, thinking so fast that sometimes even I could not keep up. There seems to always be a difference in my eyesight, also. Everything seems… odd, yet right. Odd for being different, yet right for feeling as though that is how I am supposed to see things, in a different light…

A loud snuffling sound brought me out of my line of thinking to pay attention to the crying wolf in front of Jasper.

"Oh, Jake."

He turned and ran deeper into the woods. Sam turned from him and glared at me before taking off after the runaway wolf. Seth looked between Jasper, the fleeing wolves, and me a few times before coming forward and bumping me lightly on the chest with his huge head and running after Sam and Jake. Jasper stood silent and tall throughout the whole ordeal, watching the wolves carefully. When they were gone he turned to me.

"My lovely lady, would you accompany me back to the house?"

His face looked so hopeful, but I knew that there was something else I needed to do first. As I was thinking this, his eyes dimmed and he looked at the ground beneath my feet.

"Jasper… I need time to think. This has happened so fast, I don't know what I should think of it all. I need to make an understanding of everything going on right now. I'm sorry. I'll come back, I promise.

"I love you." I told him as I turned and took off into the woods, making sure to avoid the path of rotten eggs and wet dog.

_**Be safe. Be safe and come back to me. To us.**_

I _really_ needed to think.

**A/N:**

**Okay, guys, I'm sorry this is short, for one. Also, I'm sorry if any of you are confused- this is me testing out how I feel of the story right now. You all inspired me, so thank you!**

***This is a direct quote of Stephanie Meyer's **_**New Moon.**_** I put it in this chapter solely because it fit the moment and I felt like it.**

**Stephanie Meyer owns all but the plot and some of the characteristics of many characters.**

**REVIEW TO GET A **_**REAL**_** CHAPTER!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Bella POV

I kept running past the Canadian border. What was I supposed to think? Suddenly Alice and Edward are dead and now Jasper and I are mates? Isn't that too quick? What if I can't provide for his, um, needs?

Then again, maybe this wouldn't be too bad. He didn't seem to grievous over Alice when I last saw him—mainly just worried for me. Why did I doubt his feelings? Was it even possible to not love your mate?

Do I love Jasper? I shook my head at that one and skipped it. Though my brain automatically started spitting out lovey-dovey answers about how 'soulmates are for ever' and 'you can't deny the mating pull' and 'OF COURSE YOU LOVE HIM, HE'S YOUR MATE'. I never thought about how aggravating it would be to have a vampire's mind. Edward wasn't exaggerating: Vampires _are_ easily distracted.

What if Carlisle doesn't approve of all of this? What if Esme doesn't? They are Jasper, Alice, and Edward's parents for most intents and purposes after all, so—

Parents.

I stopped dead in my tracks. My mind was quickly cataloguing everything around me. I was still in a wooded area but I could hear cars on a nearby highway. My vampire sense of direction and navigation told me that I was only two hours away from home. Two hours away from Jasper. Meanwhile, another part of my mind was stuck on its previous reel.

Charlie. What happens now? What do we tell Charlie? Does he know I'm with the Cullens? Does he know I'm a vampire? Well, probably not, but still. Does he think I've run off with another boy? He must think I'm horrible to keep leaving him like this.

I heard a _crunch_ behind me—_the sound of a foot stepping onto crisp leaves_, my mind helpfully filled in—and turned around.

All I saw was a flash of red.

Then I ran as quickly and forcefully as my newborn legs would let me. The two-hour trip back home took me less than half an hour. It only took five minutes to lose the person (vampire) trailing me.

I was still terrified out of my wits yet relieved and cocky that I lost the vampire when I ran into a hard wall.

_I thought that avoiding stuff like this was hardwired into all vampires_, I thought to myself. Leave it to me to be the only graceless vampire.

A soft chuckle emanated from the 'wall'. I looked up into a pair of dark black eyes and sighed.

"Naturally."

Jasper laughed. "You should start being more observant of where you run," he said, "or you might run into a tree next time."

I huffed and rolled my eyes. _Whatever_. I had started to walk towards the house when Jasper grabbed my hand, pulling me back. I gave him a look and raised an eyebrow. He kept staring.

I checked myself to make sure I wasn't projecting. I wasn't.

He was still staring, and inscrutable expression resting on his face.

"Um. Can I help you?"

He shifted awkwardly and the sun blinded me. I blinked a few times and then realized that Jasper was sparkling.

I've always wondered about this trait. When Edward first showed me his glittery self, I contemplated the possibility that vampires like Dracula existing long ago, and awkward interspecies breeding between them and fairies led to this disadvantage.

Now, though, I could see the allure. I never thought something as silly as sparkling in the sun would be so attractive. I reached out and laid my hand upon Jasper's glittery cheek.

_Oooh. Shiny_…

I projected that to Jasper and he laughed, returning back to me our combined feelings: joy, wonder, awe, adoration, and love. For a few moments we were stuck there in the forest surrounding the Cullen house, our emotions and thoughts bouncing off of each other, playing a desperate game of ping-pong in which the feelings grew and grew. The love we felt for each other was definitely no longer familial, that's for sure.

Jasper wrinkled his nose and ticked an eyebrow at me.

"What's so funny?"

"Ah… I was just thinking about us."

He looked confused.

I waited.

"What about us is so amusing?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Just that, well, we barely know each other, yet this feels so right. When I was human Edward seemed to go out of his way to keep us apart." A thought struck me. "Do you think he knew?"

Shock permeated the space between us.

Jasper shook his head. "I hope not. There are laws against forcing two mates apart. Though…" he looked away from me, turning to stare up at the sun behind him, "I suppose it doesn't matter now."

A sliver of grief shot from one of us to the other, and I stepped next to him.

"I think we'll be okay." I grabbed his hand, trying to push happy feelings towards him.

"Yeah," he said, staring into the sun. "Yeah, I think we will."

And, for that short moment, we were happy. He gripped my hand like it was the last thing holding him to this earth, and I held him there.

If only we'd known then how wrong we were…

About everything.

Jasper turned to me with a sly grin. "You're eyes are weird."

I gasped and turned around to stomp back to the house.

"No! Bella, I just meant that they're not black. Or red. Or even gold. Did you know your eyes are silver?"

Well. Maybe not wrong about _everything_.


End file.
